Introverts: We’re Not Anti-Social, Just Different

In a world that ascribes to the notion of extroversion and sociability, introverts often get a bad rap. People may assume that they are depressed or anti-social, when in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Introverts have many admirable qualities, such as self-containment, cool calmness, and the ability to keep others focused and composed. In fact, many people secretly love introverts, as they have a unique set of traits that are rare in today’s world. Here are several things you may not know about introverts, which could help you understand and develop stronger relationships with them.

We Don’t Care About Your Birthday

If you work in an office with introverts, you will see them squirm when someone cheerily volunteers that it’s their birthday. Introverts find it hard to respond with enthusiasm and interest, and they certainly don’t need an invitation to join a large group of people, many of whom they’ve never met before. If you don’t invite us, we are relieved. It’s not that we don’t care about your birthday, it’s just that we like to celebrate days like those with our closest friends or in solitude.

We Don’t Need You to Celebrate Our Birthday

Some introverts don’t need to celebrate their birthday with much fanfare or attention. They are okay with quietly acknowledging the day with a small group of friends, or not doing anything at all. They don’t need the world to know about their birthday or to feel outwardly special.

We Are not really Listening as You Recount Your Weekend

Unless we consider you as part of our circle of friends, we don’t necessarily care about your weekend. We believe that everyone has their own right to privacy, so if you choose to spend your weekend drinking or partying, that’s totally up to you. We don’t judge, but we don’t have the energy to give to something or someone that we don’t have a personal connection with. Just because you work with us, doesn’t mean we automatically know you.

We Hate Crowds

Large crowds can make us feel exhausted and overwhelmed. All the stimulation from different types of people from diverse walks of life can make us feel a bit dizzy or woozy. Some introverts are empaths, which means they tend to take on the energy of others easily. We might feel like we know everyone in the room and that we are getting easily overwhelmed with the activity and energy level of the environment.

We Don’t Really Like Networking Events

Networking events can be hard, especially for introverts who own a business or want to expand their professional network. We feel like we have to perform or act in a certain way, which means we struggle to make the right connections and say the right things. We don’t get much benefit from networking events because we don’t know the people and we don’t really care that much. If we want to build professional connections, we have to feel a personal connection to the people we meet. This takes time, effort, and careful planning.

We Force Ourselves to Act Like We Like You

Introverts know who they like and don’t like. It could stem from childhood issues or even your behaviour that day, and is not usually something personal. However, to survive, we have to act nice all the time, even when we don’t feel like it. Superseding our natural responses to situations is essential for us to get along in the world.

We Know How to Get Stuff Done

We fill our alone time with activities, from projects, phone calls, emails, rough drafts, and even blueprints for world takeover (not literally). We value solitude because it lets us experiment with new concepts, plan, and stretch our imagination. We can create anything we want when we are alone, and sometimes these things can change our lives and your lives too.

We Like to Write Things Out

We love email because it helps us get what we need without any interruptions. Interruptions throw us off course, and it takes us more time to recalibrate and focus. So if you want to communicate or ask a question, please email us. We will be able to get back to you when we have time to focus, gather our thoughts, and avoid any unnecessary disruptions.

We Feel Safe with the Right People

If we have the right people in our lives, we can give our all. We become protective, enthusiastic, and can become protective warriors who will fight almost any cause for someone we love. We blossom and shine in the right company. However, it takes us time to find the right people, and when we do, we hold on to them.

We Do Have Friends Who Really Like Us

Most introverts like people, and people like us. We don’t have a problem hanging out in groups, having a good time, and spending time with others. If we have friends, they are usually carefully selected people that we want to build quality relationships with. We put in the time and effort to create and sustain these friendships. Not everyone we meet becomes our friend.

We Can Do the Extrovert Thing for a While

We can put on our extrovert face, be the life of the party, host networking events, and even chair charity committees. We do this willingly, knowing that at the end of the day, we can go home and recharge. However, it might take us days or weeks to recover fully from these activities.

We Are Not Shy, Rude, or Uptight

At first glance, we may seem shy, rude, or uptight, but if you get to know us, we can make you laugh, and hold a deep conversation that lasts longer than 15 minutes. We’re not intentionally aloof, but we don’t feel like sharing our thoughts or lives with everyone we meet. Being sociable and feeling social is a choice, not a way of living for us. We can’t fake our happiness or excitement.

We Are Okay Alone

We don’t need others for stimulation or entertainment. We entertain ourselves with creative projects, thinking deeply about the world, and indulging in our own imaginations. We love to spend alone time because it helps us build our emotional strength and creativity. It’s not that we don’t like other people; we just don’t need too many more things to deal with in life.

We Hate Small Talk

We enjoy deep conversations about big ideas, theories, and ideals. We dislike small talk because we feel like it doesn’t get us anywhere. We are thinkers at heart, and it takes a lot of effort and energy for us to engage in small talk. So if you want to engage with us on a personal level, let’s have a meaningful conversation.

We Make a Choice to Be With You. Appreciate It.

As introverts, we value our alone time and are selective about who we invite into our personal space. We let in people carefully, judging them on personality, behaviour, and shared interests. We might feel like we’ve given them enough of our energy, leaving nothing left for ourselves. We are more likely to form friendships and connections with likeminded introverts who understand our sense of control, deep thinking, and groundedness. We appreciate the time we spend with these people and hope you do too.

Final Thoughts

Though introverts may initially seem like they’re not interested or don’t have much to say or contribute, the truth is that they have a lot to offer. They just need the right environment and people who understand and accept them for who they are. If you have friends or colleagues who are introverts, make an effort to appreciate their unique qualities and preferences. And if you’re an introvert yourself, embrace your talents and abilities, and appreciate the depth and beauty that comes along with being a quiet, reflective type.