Be More Likable: 7 Personality Traits to Emulate

As humans, the need for connection and social interaction is ingrained in our DNA. However, not everyone finds it easy to make friends, progress in their careers, or find romantic partners. One reason for this could be that their personalities lack certain traits that make them likable. As a conversationalist, I have studied the most likable personalities and identified seven traits that people can work on to make themselves more likable.

Be Humble

Arrogance is one of the biggest turn-offs for people. No one wants to be around someone who is constantly bragging about their achievements or skills. On the other hand, admitting one’s mistakes and giving credit to others makes a person appear more likable. Embracing one’s flaws is also disarming and makes others feel more comfortable in one’s presence.

Example: “He’s an amazing artist. I still struggle drawing triangles!”

Be Caring and Unselfish

Being genuinely interested in what others are saying, doing, and feeling is a trait that people appreciate. Asking follow-up questions and referencing something that a person said in the past show that one is listening and paying attention. Sharing and relating to someone’s feelings also creates a deeper connection. People who are cold or self-centered often have fewer friends.

Example: “You mentioned last month you were thinking of _____, did you end up doing that?”

Be Positive

Negativity is a downer. People prefer to be around those who have a positive outlook on life and can find something good in every situation. Being optimistic takes practice, but it is worth it. It creates an aura of positivity around a person that draws others to them. Complaining too much or being too cynical, bitter, or negative is a major turn-off.

Example: “At least we were able to _____.”

Be Enthusiastic

Energy is contagious. People want to be around others who exude positive energy and enthusiasm. Subtly adding energy to conversations can create a more dynamic interaction. Responding to good news with excitement and energy makes one appear genuine and joyful. Being an energy vampire, on the other hand, can suck the life out of the room.

Example: “I love your kitchen… it reminds me of _____.”

Be Goal Oriented and Passionate

People who have direction in their lives and are passionate about their goals are attractive to others. Working towards one’s goals increases confidence and creates a sense of purpose. Sharing one’s passions and hobbies is a way of showing that one is a well-rounded person with various interests. Being overly lazy and uninspiring is not likely to make one very popular.

Example: “This weekend, I’m volunteering for _____ / running a _____ / trying to build a _____.”

Be Playful

Humor and playfulness are crucial to making conversations exceptional. People appreciate those who can lighten up a serious discussion and create a more relaxed atmosphere. However, humor can be a double-edged sword, and too much of it can be annoying. A good balance between seriousness and playfulness is necessary.

Example: “Even if I miss the game, I avoid everyone until I can watch it. I’m actually good at avoiding everyone. If there was a career for professional avoiders, I’d be a very wealthy man by now!”

Be Flexible

Being able to adapt to changing environments and going with the flow of the conversation can create a more relaxed atmosphere. People who are too rigid or defensive during discussions are not a lot of fun to be around. Playing along with silly jokes and being easy-going can make conversations more enjoyable.

Example: “It’s closed? That’s okay, I bet we can find some cool ____ over at _____ too!”

In conclusion, these seven personality traits can make a significant difference in how likable someone is. Being humble, caring, positive, enthusiastic, having goals and passions, being playful, and flexible are all positive traits that people can work on. Spending some time assessing one’s strengths and weaknesses and working on improving one’s weaker areas can pay off in social and professional situations.

Emulating the traits of great conversationalists can help anyone be more likable. Improving one’s personality is arguably one of the easiest things a person can do to improve their social skills. It just takes effort and practice.