We all desire to live in a world where we can trust people. But the sad reality is that this is not the case. Some people will always try to hurt you for their self-interest. After being hurt by another person, we are always afraid of getting hurt again. We have a hard time trusting others.
Trust is a feeling of conviction that something or someone is reliable, credible, and worthy of reliance. When trust is broken, it’s hard to rebuild. We’ve all been hurt before, and it’s hard to trust people again. This blog addresses how to restore trust when it has been broken.
How to Rebuild Your Trust in Others
Here are some suggestions to help you rebuild your trust and forgive others if you’ve come to that decision.
1. Communicate Your Expectations
It’s crucial to let others know what you anticipate from your interactions with them.
Tell those who have betrayed your trust what you expect from them. Inform them that your faith in them has been shaken and that you need some time to recover. Share your thoughts on what they did wrong and how they might earn your trust again.
If you tell people what you want from them and they still don’t deliver, you know why.
2. Put Yourself First
Even though we should prioritize our happiness above all else, most of us only learn this lesson once we’ve been harmed by someone we care about. Use this moment of insight to repair your relationship with yourself, the most crucial.
Admit to yourself the vulnerabilities you’ve been hiding from others. Combat your doubts and fears.
You may have been working on trusting yourself and your judgment in other contexts. Hone your ability to make sound judgments and then stand by them. Focus on the people who have always had your best interests at heart and the most important things, such as your favorite activity or regular exercise.
When you learn to trust yourself and tune into your physical sensations, you’ll have a greater sense of connection to your inner world.
3. Realize That Rebuilding Trust Takes Time
Broken trust is like beginning over. Trust must be rebuilt over time, which takes time and is different for other people every time.
You shouldn’t listen to people who tell you to “get over it.” They either don’t care about you as much as they claim to, or they don’t know how to set healthy limits in their own life.
You should take as much time as you need to restore your faith in that person or humanity. There’s no shame in needing extra time to process their suffering.
Tell that person and anybody else who might cross paths with them in the future that you need time and space to reestablish trust. Those who should respect you will.
4. Set Clear Boundaries
Boundaries are essential in any relationship, including your one with yourself. Boundaries are “the limitations we create with other people, signaling what we find acceptable and undesirable in their behavior towards us,” as stated in Psychology Today.
You must let the individual who betrayed your confidence know where you draw the line. Instruct them about the kinds of conduct you would not accept, such as lying or withholding information. The next step is to ensure you’re holding yourself to the standards you’ve established.
Don’t give in to the person’s manipulation and get into a trap of perpetually forgiving the same mistakes. Once you’ve established your limits, keep them.
5. Speak to a Licensed Therapist
People who have experienced more severe trauma are less likely to be able to identify their triggers. Seek the assistance of a therapist trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). They can help you recognize your triggers, name the emotions they evoke, and work through them so that your brain no longer perceives the object of your fear as a threat.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a type of talk therapy that can help you identify the underlying issues that are preventing you from trusting others and provide you with practical tools to overcome them. If you or someone you care about has been wounded, talking to a professional can be an essential step in healing.
6. Recognize Your Triggers and Be Honest About Them
Those who have experienced repeated hurt may react negatively to particular social settings in ways others cannot fully appreciate. It would help if you did not discount your emotions because of the confusion they may bring to others.
Maybe you’re just getting back into the dating scene, and running across the person who damaged you at a bar brings up painful memories. Tell your friends and family that you’d rather not see that individual and want to keep your distance from them.
If your friends have your back, you won’t have to worry about being forced to interact with the person who offended you.
By opening up about the things that make you feel uneasy, you can begin healing in your relationships and be more resilient.
The two of you can strive toward more open and honest communication and avoid future blunders if you let the other person know that what they said or did upset you, even if they didn’t do anything wrong per se. They’ll understand your perspective on the situation, why you might have behaved the way you did, and how to be authentic while avoiding the behavior you’d prefer they not repeat.
7. Commit to Starting Fresh, Whatever That Looks Like for You
Many individuals would advise you to forget the past and move on to start anew. However, no one besides yourself can fully appreciate your struggle to regain trust in humanity.
There are various ways to begin again, including temporarily severing ties with particular people, forgiving the person who hurt you but setting firm limits for the future, or some combination of these two approaches. There are many ways to wipe the slate clean and begin again.
8. People’s Actions Will Tell You What You Need to Know
You should take them at their word if someone proves who they are.
As you rebuild your confidence in others, you may act cautiously at first and perhaps too cautiously. It’s tempting to believe the people around you when they say they’ve changed and won’t hurt you again, but it’s essential to keep an eye on their behavior.
Have they started reverting to their old ways? Do they listen when you tell someone about an experience that triggered a negative emotion? Observing people’s behavior will reveal whether or not you can put your trust in them. Put your faith in them.
Believe in the goodness of others; it’s a necessary risk in life. Being constantly on alert prevents one from taking pleasure in life. Rebuilding trust in others is an ongoing process that affects everyone differently.
While others may believe that everyone should be given a second opportunity, ultimately, that choice rests in your own hands.