Common Language: The Key to Strengthening Friendships
Ever had a friend with whom you have only grown close over the years, and with whom you still use that secret code language you had devised as kids, even though it may sound like childish gobbledygook? If you are nodding to this question with a nostalgic grin on your face then congratulations! You have just discovered what only experts have been privy too, a common language will strengthen your friendship like none other.
Andrew Ledbetter from Kansas University published a research based on the longitudinal study of friendship in 2007 and in it, after researching a number of friends, it was discovered that the closeness of two friends in 1983 predicted how close they were in 2002! It means that the more you invest in a friendship today, the more it will strengthen your friendship in the later years.
If you ever sit with a group of friends, you’d be surprised to see how unintelligible their conversation would sound to you. Years of friendship mostly means years of shared jokes, catch phrases and even completely senseless references that mean something to each and every one of them. This shared common language will strengthen your friendship and keep it ready for the long haul.
The bonds that slip away
Our cherished childhood friendships tend to languish in the light of adulthood – our friends become our last priority and everything – from spouses to children, jobs to new friends take precedence in lives that are increasingly busy. As adults, we also tend to become more understanding of our friends and lower our expectations from them. Sadly, this often causes those friendships to simply unravel over time.
However, that one joke that always cracked your gang up, or that one embarrassing incident that all of you can never live down – it just takes a moment of shared remembrance to strengthen your friendship with the lifelong glue of days gone by; those days of carefree and joyous abandonment called childhood!
Importance of a common language
The beauty of a common language of friendship lies in the fact that it is not restricted by geographical boundaries, prejudice or even time. No matter how many years have passed since you last spoke or how different your lives may have become, the common language of your friendship will always bind you.
It is a known fact that the more you communicate with someone, the more likely it is for you to bond with them. In some of the most successful marriages, the couple speaks a language that not many others can understand. This is because they have developed a lingo of their own, which only they can understand, and this helps them to communicate better and create a bond that is stronger than any other.
Similarly, in friendships too, having that special coded language can make all the difference. It strengthens the bond, makes the friendship more interesting and adds an element of fun that cannot be found in any other relationship.
Creating your own language
Creating your own language of friendship is not something that can be forced; it is something that simply develops. However, if you are looking to strengthen an existing friendship or build a new one, there are a few things that you can do.
Start by bonding over shared interests, hobbies or even experiences. Find something that makes you both feel passionate and invest time and energy into it together. This will help to create common memories that you can refer back to when you’re developing your own coded language.
Pay attention to how your friend thinks, talks and even jokes. This will help you to identify patterns, phrases or even idioms that they use frequently. Over time, these will become a part of your common language.
Don’t be afraid to be silly, childish or even nonsensical. Remember, the beauty of a common language of friendship lies in the fact that it is yours alone. You can speak in gibberish, create hilarious puns or even make up words that only you and your friend can understand.
In conclusion, friendship is one of the most precious relationships we can have in life. However, it is also one of the most fragile. Cherish your friends, invest in your relationships and always remember to speak in that special common language that only you and your friend can understand. It will strengthen your bond, create unforgettable memories and make your friendship unique, like no other.