Married couples often face a significant stigma from single people and the rest of the married world. It is commonly believed that once you tie the knot, you will eventually grow bored with each other, constantly fight, and long for your younger, carefree days. However, this is nothing more than a stereotype, and your marriage does not have to be like that at all. Despite being young and only a year and four months into my wife-life, I can confidently say that my husband and I have not grown bored or tired of each other in the slightest. And I believe that our actions play a significant role in maintaining the spark in our relationship. Here are ten actions that can help keep the excitement and love alive in your marriage.

1. Don’t get stuck in front of the TV

It is incredibly easy for both partners to come home from work and get absorbed in watching reruns of our favorite shows until we fall asleep. However, this lack of interaction can be detrimental to your relationship. While enjoying a movie night once in a while is great, having that as your only form of connection means you are not truly engaging with each other. Instead, try going for a walk together or even cooking a meal together. Anything is better than silently staring at the same screen for hours on end.

2. Be impulsive

Routine is beneficial for work and managing weekly errands, but too much routine in your marriage can lead to feelings of boredom. Research shows that boredom in a marriage can significantly decrease satisfaction even after being together for 16 years. Break away from the monotony of everyday life by being spontaneous. Even small decisions like going out to eat or procrastinating your laundry for another day can inject excitement into your relationship.

3. Show that you care in everything you do

Expressing your love and care for your partner can be done in countless small ways. From making the coffee in the morning to packing a surprise lunch before heading to work, there are numerous opportunities to remind your spouse how much they mean to you. Personally, I enjoy writing sticky notes for my husband and leaving them around our apartment in places I know he’ll look. He never fails to smile when he finds an “I love you!” sticky note tucked inside his closed laptop.

4. Have an “us” weekend

Having many friends and spending time with them is fantastic, but it’s also crucial to reconnect as a couple by having a “just us” weekend. Sleep in until noon, go out for a special dinner, or have a marathon of your favorite TV show together. Whatever you decide to do, make sure it’s focused on bonding and spending quality time with each other.

5. Surprise your spouse with thoughtful gifts

It is essential to note that thoughtful does not necessarily mean expensive. Surprise your spouse with a gift that reminds them of how much you love and appreciate them for who they are. My husband often surprises me by ordering graphic tees that perfectly match my personality. I am always amazed at how he finds just the right styles to make me feel special.

6. Say the important things

While it’s fantastic to feel comfortable enough with your spouse to assume they know how you feel, it’s equally important to vocalize these feelings occasionally. Expressions like “I missed you today,” “I’m proud of you,” “You look great,” or “You’re so fun” can go a long way in keeping your relationship strong. By communicating these thoughts, you ensure that your spouse truly understands how much you appreciate them, and they will likely reciprocate.

7. Don’t skimp on sex

It’s crucial not to let a hectic schedule or low energy lead to a decline in your sex life. Granted, this is something I personally struggle with, but I believe it’s relevant to many couples, married or not. Sex is about more than just physical intimacy; it’s a way of connecting with your partner and being close to them. It serves as one of the building blocks of a strong relationship and marriage.

8. Make time to cuddle

Snuggling up to each other and having a conversation is also a great way to spend quality time together. Spending a few minutes cuddling on the couch before starting dinner or doing more work from home can strengthen your bond.

9. Create a surprise special day

Apart from thoughtful gifts, surprising your spouse with a dedicated special day can be incredibly meaningful. Plan a fun event or trip just for the two of you and keep it a secret until the day of the surprise. Alternatively, make plans to do something mundane together, only to surprise them with tickets to see their favorite band, attend a pro sports game, or go on a romantic picnic.

10. Talk about “us”

Lastly, one of the most effective ways to maintain the spark in your marriage is simply by talking about your relationship. Reminisce about when you first met, your first kiss, funny moments you’ve shared, or exciting experiences you look forward to as a couple. Talking about “us” is a fantastic way to reconnect and strengthen your bond.

In conclusion, I hope these ten tips will help you and your spouse continue to feel head-over-heels for each other for decades to come. Remember that a successful marriage requires effort, communication, and spontaneity. By implementing these actions into your relationship, you can defy the stigma and stereotypes surrounding marriage and create a vibrant, fulfilling partnership.