Children Gone: What to Do With Belongings Left Behind

As children grow up and leave the nest, they often leave a trail of belongings behind that can be overwhelming for parents to manage. In this article, we will explore the different options parents have for dealing with their children’s abandoned possessions and the emotional implications of each choice.

The Path of Least Resistance

One option for dealing with a child’s mess is to simply leave it as is. This may seem like the easiest choice, but it has negative emotional implications. A stagnant mess can create negative energy in a home, affecting the mood of its inhabitants. Additionally, many people find a cluttered space to be stressful and anxiety-inducing. Parents who choose this option may not see the mess every day, but they will still be aware of its presence, which can cause ongoing frustration and tension.

Boxing Up and Storing

Another option is to box up and store a child’s belongings in the attic or a storage unit. This choice allows parents to reclaim the room for their own use and avoid daily reminders of their child’s absence. However, it also requires an ongoing financial commitment to the storage unit, which can be costly over time. Moreover, this approach often results in the storage of things that are meaningless to the family – taking up valuable space while serving no purpose.

Going Through Belongings to Determine Value

Some parents have a good sense of what is important to their children and can do a first pass through their belongings. They may be able to whittle down the mess to a more manageable size by keeping only the most valuable items. These may include seasonal and formal clothing, memorabilia, and musical instruments – things that are likely to be important emotionally, as well as financially. Items that are not deemed important can be donated to charity or thrown away. This approach ensures that everything left behind is organized and ready to present to the child on their next visit home.

Giving Children a Deadline

Some parents find it difficult to deal with their children’s belongings, and they may not want to do it at all. If they’ve tried and failed to get their children to take responsibility for their things, one option is to give them a deadline. By letting their children know that they have until a certain date to go through and take what matters to them, they are giving them a chance to take ownership of their possessions. If the deadline passes, parents can then donate the items to charity or throw them away. This approach empowers the parents to take control of the situation, while also holding their children accountable for their actions.

Special Circumstances

Of course, there may be special circumstances that affect what parents do with their children’s belongings. For example, if a child is away at college or serving in the military, they may not be able to take immediate action. Or, if a child does not yet have the resources to store their belongings, it may be necessary to keep them in the home temporarily. In these cases, it is important for parents to stay in communication with their children and make a plan for what will happen to their belongings in the future.

The Emotional Implications

Emotions play a significant role in the decision-making process for parents who are dealing with their children’s belongings. Some may feel guilt or sadness at the thought of getting rid of their child’s things, while others may feel frustration and anger at having to clean up the mess. It is important to recognize and acknowledge these emotions, rather than ignoring or suppressing them. Talking through the situation with a trusted friend can help parents gain clarity and make a decision that feels right for them.

Moving Forward

Ultimately, the decision about what to do with a child’s belongings comes down to what feels right for the family, both emotionally and practically. It is important to remember that holding on to a significant quantity of a child’s things prevents them from fully leaving home and forging their own path. Parents who are struggling with the decision may wish to seek the guidance of a professional organizer or counselor, who can provide support and practical advice for moving forward.