The Harmful Effects of Overparenting on Child Development

It’s a sad truth that some of the world’s best minds are stifled at a young age simply because society has forced them into doing so. Parents are not to blame for this, per se, as for the most part they are doing what they’ve read or been told is right. However, some actions parents take in regard to raising their children unfortunately might be doing more harm than good.

Giving Extrinsic Rewards

Parents often resort to giving extrinsic rewards, such as an extra scoop of ice cream or a new toy, as a means to motivate their children to complete their homework or practice their musical instrument. However, this type of reinforcement can be detrimental to the psychological development of the child. Children may develop the notion that they should only do work if there is a reward offered and that what they are doing is actually work. This mindset may hinder their ability to learn and be creative in the future.

Over-scheduling

In an effort to make their kids an expert at everything, parents often sign them up for too many activities or classes. This may cause the children to feel like they “have to go to soccer practice tonight,” instead of actually looking forward to it. When children are over-scheduled, they do not get adequate downtime, which is essential for reflection and preparation for the next day. Studies have shown that the most successful minds in history have benefited from downtime, where they were able to reflect on their day’s events.

Limiting Choices

Parents may unknowingly stifle their child’s creativity by providing them with too little to do. Often, children find imaginative uses for everyday items, such as playing with the box their expensive toy came in. By forcing a narrow viewpoint on them, parents destroy their child’s imagination. Children see the world differently than adults, and by giving them a broader perspective, parents allow their children to be more creative.

Shadowing or Hovering

Parents who constantly hover or watch over their children cause them to feel rigid and stifled. Children need to feel free to go about things in their own way so that they can find their own solutions. When children are continually following instructions, they have little chance to innovate in their thought process.

Making Them Fear Failure

Children need to understand that failure is inevitable, but it is possible to be overcome. Unfortunately, parents instill in their children the idea that failure is a dead-end road with no turning back. Parents need to encourage their children to approach every obstacle with the goal of being better at it than they were the day before. Not only will they continue to grow on a daily basis, but they will also be humble about their advances.

Rushing Them

Children are new to life, and they truly do not have the experience adults have to understand concepts. They lack the background knowledge that allows adults to connect ideas and come to conclusions quickly. Rushing children through tasks makes it almost certain that connections will not be made. Allowing children to accomplish goals at their own pace may take a little longer, but the connections made will last a lifetime.

Making Everything a Competition

Parents who make everything a competition put too much pressure on their children. Children should only feel like they are competing against themselves. They should approach every obstacle with the goal of being better than they were the day before. When children are competing with others, they may feel they have to “beat” everyone else, which puts unnecessary pressure on them.

Not Being Creative Yourself

When parents stifle their own creativity, they do so with their children’s. Parents should lead by example, finding new ways of doing things, so their children know it’s okay to go off the beaten path once in a while. When we choose to zig-zag around it, our children will be right behind us.

In conclusion, parents are doing what they believe is best for their children. However, certain actions may be doing more harm than good. Parents need to recognize that these types of behaviors may be limiting their child’s ability to grow and succeed in the future. By giving children choices, encouraging them to fail, and leading by example, parents can help their children excel and become the best versions of themselves.