Have you been feeling disconnected from your partner lately? Maybe you’ve been together for years and the passion has fizzled out. Or perhaps you’re in a newer relationship, but you’re already starting to feel like you’re not on the same page anymore. Whatever the case may be, it’s important to take steps to keep the spark alive in your relationship.

Many people talk about the seven-year itch, but in reality, any long-term relationship requires effort on both parties’ parts. Without conscious effort and prioritization, it’s easy for a relationship to become complacent and even resentful. As someone who’s been married for over a decade, I can attest to this truth.

For me, the key to maintaining a strong and loving relationship is prioritizing my spouse. This means giving him my undivided attention and looking for opportunities to connect with him emotionally, mentally, and physically. When he feels prioritized, he reciprocates, and our relationship remains strong.

If you’re struggling to connect with your partner, consider some of these easy tips before jumping to couples counseling:

1. Explore somewhere new together. Whether it’s a long vacation or just a day trip to a new park, exploring new places together can do wonders for a relationship. Research has shown that couples who make a conscious effort to go on adventures and experience new things together have increased playfulness, less stress, and better emotional connections.

2. Cook a romantic meal together at home. Instead of going out to dinner and dealing with crowds and noise, try cooking a romantic meal with your partner at home. This puts both of you in a creative space and can naturally lead to touching and kissing. Don’t be afraid to take your time with the meal prep and enjoy each other’s company in the kitchen.

3. Express gratitude daily. Instead of being negative and critical of one another, take time to express gratitude for the things you appreciate about your partner. This practice has been shown to improve mental health, reduce depression, and overall improve well-being. By reminding yourself of the things you appreciate about your partner, you’ll naturally feel more positively towards them and your relationship as a whole.

4. Tell your partner you find them attractive. It’s important to let your partner know that you still find them attractive, especially if you’ve been together for a while. Without this reinforcement, your partner may start to feel unattractive, leading to resentment and disconnection. Find ways to express your attraction, such as through compliments or flirty behavior, to keep the spark alive.

5. Schedule a weekly date night. Life can get busy with work, kids, and other obligations, but it’s essential to carve out time for just the two of you. Studies have shown that couples who make alone time a priority are less likely to end up in divorce. This doesn’t have to mean going out for an expensive night on the town – simply spending a few hours together outside of the home, engaging in an activity you both enjoy, can do wonders for your relationship.

6. Hug your partner daily. Physical affection and touch are powerful components of a loving relationship. Taking time to hug each other, even for just a few seconds, can reduce stress and anxiety, improve trust, and generate feelings of compassion. Try to hug your partner for at least 20 seconds each time – this has been shown to have positive cardiovascular effects and strengthen the bond between partners.

7. Schedule intimate time. It may seem odd to schedule time for intimacy, but it’s important to prioritize a physical connection with your partner. By planning time together, you can ensure that you’re both on the same page and looking forward to a night of passion. This can also help build up anticipation and encourage flirtation between encounters.

All of these tips boil down to one simple habit: prioritizing each other. By making a conscious effort to put your partner first, you’ll be amazed at how quickly the spark can reignite. As someone who’s been through the ups and downs of a long-term relationship, I can say that prioritization is absolutely paramount. It’s never too late to start making changes to spice up your relationship and keep it strong for years to come.