The Waiter Rule: A Window into Personality

“How others treat the CEO says nothing, they say. But how others treat the waiter is like a magical window into the soul.” These words, spoken by Del Jones in USA Today, start off an interesting discussion on how we treat waiters and waitresses. The Waiter Rule, as it is called, is a reflection of how our interactions with servers can reveal much about our personality. The majority of CEOs agree with this rule, which speaks volumes since they don’t agree on much.

Au Bon Pain co-founder, Ron Shaich, now CEO of Panera Bread, has a unique interviewing tactic for executive positions—he asks his assistant how the candidate treats her. If the individual is rude and demanding, this indicates that they may not be a team player. According to Dr. Fredric Neuman of Psychology Today, how people treat waiters should be considered when choosing a future partner.

So what do our behaviors towards servers reveal about our personality? Let’s analyze some common behaviors.

The Friendly Person Who Always Says Thank You
We’ve all met this type of person—they’re always friendly, greet servers by name, and say thank you a little too much. They treat all people equally, acknowledging that having a high-paying job doesn’t make one superior. They show compassion and empathy towards everyone, recognizing that each person has a story. Such people are team players, non-judgmental, like to see others happy, and are genuinely nice individuals.

The Rude Person
There’s always someone in a restaurant who speaks to the server in a condescending manner or acts as if the waiter or waitress is invisible. They feel entitled to demand and don’t care whether their requests are reasonable or not. Such behavior is quite common and may indicate a demanding personality. These individuals might think they’re better than others or feel superior. They value control and power and might be status-conscious.

The Person Who Engages in Minimal Interaction
This type of person may not engage in much conversation with the server, but it doesn’t mean they’re rude. They may not feel like talking to anybody that day or are introverts who prefer that everyone focuses on their role. They may be goal-oriented and intensely focused on efficiency and getting things done.

The Person Who Engages in a Lot of Interaction
Some friends like to engage in a lot of conversation with the server, asking a lot of questions about the dishes, restaurant, and sometimes about the life of the server. This may be due to curiosity, a desire to annoy the server or genuinely enjoying interaction with the server. These individuals are confident, self-assured, and know what they want. They are not afraid to ask questions and voice their opinions.

Moral of the Story
The Waiter Rule is a golden rule to live by. How we treat servers and how we interact with them reveal a lot about our personality. Traits like being an introvert or extrovert are harmless but being demanding and condescending towards servers can be seen as unacceptable. It’s essential that we are conscious of our behavior and treat servers kindly and respectfully. Everyone is human, and everyone is equal, irrespective of their job or role.

In conclusion, the Waiter Rule is a sound principle for anyone to follow. It is essential to show kindness and respect to servers, recognizing that how people treat others will reveal much about their character. The next time you’re in a restaurant, consider how you treat the servers, and what it tells about you as a person.