Controlling Anger: 9 Habits of Successful People
Conventional wisdom dictates that anger is a negative emotion that should be suppressed at all costs. But is this always the right approach? According to Henry Evans and Colm Foster, authors of “Step Up: Lead in Six Moments That Matter,” harnessing the positive powers of anger can actually help high-performers achieve their objectives. So how do successful people deal with anger? Here are nine habits that can help you cultivate a high emotional IQ:
1. Accept that Anger is Natural and Healthy
Most of us are afraid of our own anger, but when we recognize that it’s a natural and necessary emotion, we can start managing it more effectively. Being in charge of our anger allows us to express it constructively and focus on finding solutions to the underlying issues.
2. Use “I” Statements
When we’re angry, it’s easy to slip into accusatory language, such as “You did this” or “You made me feel that.” However, talking in “I” statements helps to keep the focus on ourselves and our own experience. This can make it easier for others to empathize with us and work towards a resolution.
3. Avoid Negative Self-Talk
Being self-critical is one thing, but constantly putting ourselves down can hold us back from achieving our goals. Embrace your imperfections and focus on what you can do to improve, rather than dwelling on what’s wrong with you.
4. Focus on the Problem, not the Person
It’s natural to feel angry when someone makes a mistake or does something we disagree with. However, getting angry at the person themselves rarely helps. Instead, focus on finding a solution to the problem at hand, without assigning blame or attacking the other person.
5. Don’t Hold a Grudge
Holding onto anger and resentment only harms us in the long run. Letting go of grudges and forgiving others can help us move on and live happier, more fulfilling lives.
6. Never Send an Email While Angry
Anger can impair our judgment and lead us to say or do things we later regret. If you need to communicate something to someone while you’re feeling angry, write a draft email with the recipient’s address left blank. Wait until you’ve calmed down before going back and editing it.
7. Meditate
Meditation can be a powerful tool for managing our emotions and reducing stress and anxiety. Regular meditation can help regulate the hormone cortisol and boost serotonin, which can help us feel more balanced and aware of our feelings.
8. Exercise
Regular exercise has been shown to boost energy levels and focus, while also reducing feelings of anger and frustration. So instead of just stewing in your anger, take a brisk walk or hit the gym to blow off some steam.
9. Keep a Journal
Journaling can be a safe and healthy outlet for our emotions, including anger. Writing down our thoughts and feelings can help us process them more effectively and gain greater clarity and perspective. With practice, we can learn to express our anger in a more constructive and positive manner, rather than letting it control us.
While anger is often seen as a negative and destructive emotion, successful people know that harnessing the positive powers of anger can actually help them achieve their goals. By cultivating a high emotional IQ through habits like these, we can learn to express our anger in a healthy and constructive way that leads to greater success and satisfaction in all areas of life.
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