5 Reasons Why “The One” Doesn’t Exist When You Only Focus on Yourself

Love Is More Like Roulette Than Blackjack: Stop Searching for “The One”

Looking for “the one?” We’ve all heard the term, “the one true love.” It’s the idea that somewhere out in the world is the perfect match for each of us, a soulmate who can make us feel complete. But what if I told you that the concept of “the one” doesn’t really exist? What if your search for “the one” is keeping you from connecting with perfectly compatible partners?

Love is more like roulette than blackjack. In blackjack, you’re searching for that perfect number 21, but in roulette, you’re guessing. You place your chips on your lucky number and hope for the best. Love is similar, as you never know what may happen or who you may fall for. By pursuing the idea of “the one,” you may be closing yourself off to other possibilities.

“The One” Is Created Over Time by Slowly Undressing Who They Are, Not What They Should Be

If you’re pursuing a dream about what your perfect partner should be, you may be preventing yourself from discovering potential relationships. When you long for the “perfect” partner, you put immense pressure on yourself and your future partner. You expect them to be a certain way, preventing you from seeing who they truly are.

Rather than looking for what you can get from a relationship, focus instead on what you can give. Take a step back and evaluate your own character. How can you contribute to a relationship? What qualities do you possess that would make you an ideal partner? Once you understand yourself, you can begin to find a connection through shared values and interests. Rather than seeking an idealized partner, focus on finding someone whose values align with yours.

Stop Dreaming of the Perfect Partner You Invented at Age Five

If you’re still searching for the perfect partner you imagined you would fall in love with at age five, it’s time to stop. By creating unrealistic expectations of your partner, you prevent yourself from finding real love. It’s important to understand the difference between having standards and falling blindly for someone who doesn’t share your values.

Instead of trying to pursue the ideal partner, focus on meeting people with whom you share mutual interests and values. Once you connect through shared interests, you may be surprised by the connection that develops between you and another person.

Embrace the Rolex Theory: Finding Your Match Over Time

The Rolex theory suggests that you can find the perfect match to your personality over time. Much like a Rolex watch, finding your ideal partner takes patience and persistence. Rather than trying to force a connection with someone, it’s important to let the relationship develop naturally. Over time, you may realize that the person you thought was “the one” was really just the first step on a journey of discovering your true match.

Don’t Rush Into a Commitment You’re Not Ready For

One of the biggest mistakes people make when searching for “the one” is rushing into a relationship too quickly. When you’re searching for your soulmate, it’s important to take some time and get to know the person to ensure they really are your perfect match. It’s important to take the time to work through any issues that may arise in the relationship.


Love is more like roulette than blackjack. Rather than pursuing the idea of finding “the one,” focus on finding someone whose values and interests align with yours. Embrace the Rolex theory and allow relationships to develop naturally over time. Don’t rush into a commitment you’re not ready for, and take the time to get to know someone before you decide they’re “the one.” By letting go of the idea of “the one,” you may be surprised by the wonderful people and relationships you discover along the way.

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