How to Make a Genuine Apology and Repair Your Relationship

We all make mistakes, but it takes courage to admit our faults and apologize to those we’ve wronged. In order to repair a damaged relationship, saying “I’m sorry” is not enough. A genuine, sincere apology is a necessary step towards forgiveness and reconciliation. Here are four steps to making a genuine apology:

1. Use Specifics When You Say You’re Sorry

When apologizing, it’s important to show that you’ve taken responsibility for your actions. Simply saying “sorry” isn’t enough. Be specific and use language that demonstrates that you understand the impact of your behavior. For example, if you forgot plans to have dinner with your girlfriend and went out with your friends instead, you could say, “I’m really sorry you had to eat alone tonight.”

2. Ask How the Other Person Feels

It’s important to show that you’re empathetic towards the other person by asking how they feel. By asking them to share more of their feelings, you demonstrate that you genuinely want to connect and understand their perspective. This will make them feel loved and close, in spite of your mistake. Additionally, asking how they feel can give you a chance to correct any assumptions that your action may have led the other party to make. For instance, you could ask, “What were you feeling when I didn’t text?”

3. You Openly Acknowledge the Other Person’s Feelings

Acknowledging the other person’s feelings is an important aspect of making a genuine apology. This means trying to understand exactly how the other person feels about what happened. Try to remember a time when you felt the same way. For example, you could say, “I really get how upset you are that I didn’t remember to text you and that I keep forgetting plans. You feel like I was thoughtless and selfish. I actually felt the same way when I was waiting around for my brother to call me last week to hang out, and then he never did.”

During this step, it’s essential to stay focused on the person you’re apologizing to and avoid bringing up anything negative about them, such as saying, “I know how you feel because you didn’t text me yesterday all day so I had no idea if we had plans later.”

4. Show That You’re Committed to Change

To show that you’re committed to repairing the relationship, it’s important to come up with a plan to address the situation in the future, so that it doesn’t happen again. This shows that you’ve learned from your mistake and you’re willing to take active steps to demonstrate that you’re committed to making changes. For instance, you could suggest, “How about we sit down on Sunday nights and decide which nights we are definitely eating together and then I can put them in my calendar?”

In conclusion, apologizing is not always easy, but it is essential for maintaining and repairing relationships. To make a genuine apology, it’s important to be specific, ask how the other person feels, acknowledge their feelings, and show that you’re committed to change. By following these four steps, you’ll be able to apologize in a way that can repair your relationships and make them even stronger than they were before.