The Struggles of Being Overly Nice – Understanding the Downside of Kindness
Being a nice and kind person is generally seen as a positive trait, but it can also come with its own set of challenges. Overly nice people can struggle to set boundaries and prioritize their own needs, often putting others before themselves. While this can be admirable, it can also lead to difficulties in relationships and personal well-being. In this article, we will explore five struggles that overly nice people can understand well and offer tips on how to overcome them.
1. Overly Nice People Forgive People Who Don’t Deserve It
One of the challenges that nice people often face is forgiveness. They have a hard time holding grudges, and thus, it can be difficult for them to cut off people who have betrayed their trust. This can lead to a cycle of getting hurt over and over again, and it can erode their ability to trust others. It’s essential to recognize when a person is not worthy of our niceness or forgiveness. Cutting toxic people out of our lives can be hard, but it can free us up to spend our time and energy on more deserving people.
2. People Walk All Over Nice People
Another problem that kind people often experience is when people take advantage of their generosity. They are more than happy to help others, but sometimes this help is not reciprocated. It can result in the nice person feeling undervalued or taken for granted. Practicing assertiveness can be helpful in situations like these. It’s essential to learn to say no when we can’t do something or if the request is unreasonable, without feeling guilty about it.
3. Nice People Struggle To Say ‘No’ To Others
People-pleasing can be a significant issue for nice people. They have a hard time saying “no” to others, even when they don’t want to do something. They don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, so they say yes when they don’t want to or don’t have the capacity. To combat this, they need to realize that it’s okay to put themselves first sometimes. It’s okay to say no when they need to, to help themselves set boundaries, and preserve their own mental and emotional health.
4. Nice People Feel Guilty When They Put Themselves First
When nice people start putting themselves first, they can feel guilty about it. They might feel like they’re letting other people down, or they’re being selfish. This guilt can prevent them from making choices that would be good for themselves. Instead of feeling guilty, they can offer a compromise. For example: “Sorry, I can’t reply right now; I’m at work. Can we talk later today?”. This shows that they still care about the other person’s needs, but it also allows them to prioritize their own needs.
5. People Don’t Take Nice People Seriously Enough
Lastly, people may not take nice people seriously enough. They perceive them as too soft, optimistic, or naive. Nice people are often trying to lighten up potentially tense or difficult situations, but this can work against them. People might not take them seriously because they don’t think they are aware of the harsh realities of the world. However, nice people can still be aware of the negativity, but they choose to focus on the positive. The solution is to assert ourselves and let others know that we are not unaware of the harsh realities, but focusing on the positive can also help us stay resilient in times of negativity.
In conclusion, being overly nice can be both a great thing and a terrible thing. While being kind and forgiving is important, it’s also crucial not to be taken advantage of or to prioritize our own well-being. Overly nice people need to work on setting boundaries, practicing assertiveness and saying “no” when needed to promote their own self-care. It’s okay to choose ourselves without feeling guilty, and people who don’t take us seriously should be addressed with a peaceful conversation or cut out of our lives. By practicing a self-love mentality while still treating others with kindness and respect, we can achieve a balanced life.