Criticism is a ubiquitous phenomenon that almost everyone experiences at some point in their lives. Whether it is constructive or destructive criticism, it is challenging to handle and digest. In fact, the fear of criticism is so pervasive that it can limit people’s ability to achieve their full potential. The way we respond to criticism can determine whether we grow or shut down. Hence, learning to handle criticism effectively is a vital skill required for success in any field.

Here are five tools that can help you grow a thick skin and handle criticism confidently.

1. Find a Thick-Skinned Role Model

A thick-skinned role model is someone who inspires you, despite widespread criticism of their work or ideas. It could be an artist, a politician, a singer, or any individual who perseveres in the face of criticism. Such a role model can help you to stay focused on your goals when dealing with feedback that may be difficult to accept. For instance, Madonna, Lady Gaga, and Hillary Clinton are polarizing women who receive a lot of criticism, yet they forge ahead relentlessly. Reminding yourself of these role models can help to increase your resilience and boldness.

2. Reframe Criticism as Positive Fuel

Reframing criticism is all about changing the perception of negative feedback from a disheartening experience to an empowering one. Instead of viewing criticism as a hindrance or failure, you can view it as valuable feedback to refine and improve your work. As the master teacher who reviewed the calligraphy work stated, “I am just going to tell you how to make your work better”. Similarly, Rosamund Zander of ‘The Art of Possibility’ was interested in the negative feedback she received and considered it as an opportunity to communicate her ideas better. This change in mindset can change the way you view the feedback and enable you to use any criticism as a fuel to improve your work.

3. Separate Fact from Interpretation

Criticism can often lead us down the path of negative self-talk and self-doubt. However, it is important to understand that criticism is subjective and that the feedback does not necessarily reflect the value of your work or your innate abilities. Detaching yourself from negative interpretations of criticism and objectively assessing the feedback can help you to analyze and understand it objectively. Separating ‘fact from interpretation’ can help to distinguish the subjective opinions and beliefs from the objective and give you a clearer understanding of the feedback. This way, negative feedback becomes a source of tactical information, enabling you to structure your work in a more sound and robust manner.

4. Ignore Anyone on the Sidelines

Criticism comes in varied forms and can be overwhelming, hurtful, or useless. Distinguishing between constructive and destructive criticism is key to handling feedback. Brené Brown’s TED Talk on vulnerability has received many comments, some mean-spirited and superficial, like “If I looked like Brené Brown, I’d embrace imperfection too”. Such comments are not useful critiques of her work and can negatively impact her self-esteem. Instead, approaching criticism from a rational and analytical standpoint can help you identify if they are coming from the right place, or they are just an insult in disguise. This way, you can recognize and ignore sideline commentators and focus on feedback from people who matter – fellow colleagues, mentors, or customers.

5. Find the Shiny, Red Button

Everyone has specific criticisms that they find particularly hard to deal with, and this is because they touch on a personal vulnerability or insecurity. Recognizing and understanding our vulnerabilities that trigger negative critique is crucial in handling criticism effectively. Such criticisms relate to experiences that have left an emotional imprint on us and trigger pain, embarrassment, or shame when they occur again. These criticisms can be challenging to respond to rationally and can evoke an emotional reaction. However, recognizing these self-doubts can help us develop strategies to handle them effectively. For instance, analyzing the root cause of these experiences and developing positive affirmations can help in maintaining confidence and poise in the face of criticism.

Conclusion

Criticism is a frightening but necessary aspect of growth and development. How one approaches criticism determines their ability to learn, grow, and thrive in their chosen field. By finding a thick-skinned role model, reframing criticism as positive fuel, separating fact from interpretation, ignoring sideline critics, and identifying our vulnerable points, we can develop a thick skin and handle criticism with confidence. These tools can help in maintaining focus and clarity and can help you to become a better leader, professional, and person.