3 Reasons Why Shame is Your Friend

Shame, like fear and sadness, is an emotion that many people try to avoid or ignore. However, as we highlighted in our previous articles, emotions can offer invaluable insights into our selves and the world around us. In this article, we will explore why shame can be your friend and offer three reasons why you should not dismiss this complex emotion.

Shame Shows Your Vulnerabilities

Firstly, shame shows you what you believe about yourself, and what your vulnerabilities are. We all have weak spots, and being aware of them can help us grow and improve ourselves. When you feel shame, you are subconsciously consenting to what was said about you. If you feel upset or humiliated by what someone said, that indicates something about your beliefs and values.

For instance, if someone were to call you stupid, and it rolls off your back, it perhaps shows confidence in your intellectual abilities. However, if someone calls you ugly, and you feel a flush of shame, then this perhaps indicates that you still carry the belief that you are unattractive. When someone insults you and you get upset, inspecting your own response can offer great insight into what you believe about yourself.

Shame Deflates Your Ego

Secondly, shame deflates your ego. When you do something that hurts yourself or others, you feel ashamed. That feeling of shame can show you what values of yours were violated. You might realize that you said something cruel without thinking, or you made a poor decision that caused you to harm yourself or others. These insights are valuable and necessary because they can help you realize that you are not perfect and that you need to make amends or work on changing your behavior.

In this way, shame can remind us to stay humble, and not to let our egos cloud our judgment. It can guide us towards our values and away from our self-centeredness. Shame is a reminder that we are fallible, and that we need to be aware of our mistakes in order to grow and improve as individuals.

Shame is a Back-Handed Compliment

Lastly, shame is a back-handed compliment. The fact that you feel bad about yourself shows that you have a conscience and it is functioning correctly. There are people who do not feel shame because they lack a functioning conscience, such as psychopaths and sociopaths. If you are feeling shame, it means that you care about how your actions affect others and yourself.

Shame also highlights what your values are, because you only feel it when you violate your values. For instance, if you feel ashamed that you do not make more money, that means that you already believe you could be earning more money. This is a positive belief because it suggests that you are motivated and believe in your abilities.

Reflecting on Shame

In conclusion, shame is a complex emotion that can be difficult to experience. However, it offers valuable insights into our vulnerabilities and values, deflates our egos, and reminds us that we are human with a conscience. Shame may be painful in the moment, but if you reflect on it, you can find a lot to be proud of. So, next time you feel ashamed, remember that it is your friend, and it is offering you important information that can help you grow and become a better person.

Tag headings:
– Shame Shows Your Vulnerabilities
– Shame Deflates Your Ego
– Shame is a Back-Handed Compliment
– Reflecting on Shame