In an ever-changing world, today’s married couples have faced many challenges that previous generations have never had to face. The tips, tricks, and marriage advice offered by relationship experts in the past have become outdated in the face of these new challenges. Thus, couples today often feel that they are on their own when trying to figure out how to create a happy and loving marriage.

However, this does not mean that there are no successful, loving marriages to model after. Healthy and unhealthy couples engage in similar patterns and behaviors that either contribute to happiness or unhappiness together, regardless of the marriage advice received. There appear to be twenty-five things that successful, loving couples do that contributes to overall happiness and success in their marriage.

1. Have Physical Affection Every Day

Physical affection is a simple and common sense thing to do in a marriage. However, you would be surprised as to how many couples go day after day without physical contact. This kind of physical contact is nonsexual and is as simple as holding each other’s hands or hugging each other. Loving couples make it point to be physically affectionate with each other at least once a day.

2. Have a Common Vision of the Future

Loving couples have a clear vision of what they want their marriage to look like in the future. Just as companies form a vision statement to focus everyone working at the company on what they are creating together and the direction they are heading towards, couples need to have a common vision to focus on where their marriage is headed.

3. Be Transparent

Being transparent implies that there are no secrets between you and your partner—not even keeping passwords to bank accounts, emails, social media accounts, or even keeping phone lockout screens private. Loving couples seem to do this naturally, ensuring a strong trust bond.

4. Create Face to Face Time

Spending time alone together doing an activity where partners have to face each other activates a whole different level of intimacy and bonding that most couples neglect to nurture. According to John Gottman, loving couples spend over 5 hours of quality time together per week.

5. Make Sexual Intimacy Important

Loving couples make their sexual life a priority in their marriage. A lack of sexual intimacy in marriage points to a serious issue that can contribute to the end of the marriage if not addressed.

6. Experience New Things

Couples need to try new things and have new experiences to continue growing together. It is these new experiences that give loving couples new topics to talk about and share.

7. Laugh Together

Couples who enjoy each other’s company and can laugh together build upon their foundation of trust and respect for one another. Laughter truly can be the ‘best medicine” and loving couples get a lot of it.

8. Have Common Spiritual Beliefs

Couples that shared religious or spiritual activities together with a shared meaning found more satisfaction in their marriage. Loving couples encourage, develop, and share in this essential part of a marriage and pass these beliefs onto their children.

9. Be Best Friends

Along with laughter, healthy married couples enjoy spending time with each other and consider each other their best friend. Even couples who enter into marriage with best friends from their past convert their spouse into their new best friend.

10. Keep the Marital Bed Sacred

Loving couples maintain a sacred space in their bed for each other.

11. Show Small Gestures of Love and Consideration

Couples who are happy in their relationship consistently show love and consideration for their partner through small gestures, such as bringing their partner a cup of coffee, leaving a positive post-it note, or picking up their favorite scented candle from the store.

12. Surprise Each Other

Taking your partner on a surprise trip or to see their favorite band perform adds a bit of excitement and mystery in a good way. Loving couples see surprises as a way to show their love for one another in a fun and exciting way.

13. Take Something Off Their Plate

Loving couples can observe that their partner is stressed and take the initiative to step in and alleviate some of the stress by taking something off their plate, such as doing the dishes or running their errands.

14. Create Together

Healthy and loving couples create together, whether that be working in the garden, remodeling their house, or cooking together. This helps them feel like a team and proud of what they have accomplished as partners.

15. Have Common Interests

Loving couples enjoy spending time together and enjoy that time more when they share in common interests.

16. Support Each Other’s Goals and Dreams

Loving couples are each other’s biggest fan and support each other in achieving their goals and dreams.

17. Communicate Openly and Honestly

Clear communication is essential in any relationship. Loving couples communicate openly and honestly without fear of criticism or judgment.

18. Disagree Respectfully

Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. Healthy couples know how to disagree respectfully without resorting to name-calling, personal attacks, or threats.

19. Forgive and Move On

Loving couples forgive each other’s mistakes and move on, instead of holding grudges and dwelling on past mistakes.

20. Take Responsibility For Your Actions

Healthy couples take responsibility for their actions and own up to their mistakes instead of blaming their partner.

21. Appreciate Each Other

Loving couples appreciate and acknowledge each other’s contributions to the relationship, no matter how small they may seem.

22. Practice Self-Care

Individual self-care is just as important as the care for the relationship. Loving couples take care of themselves physically, emotionally, and mentally.

23. Respect Boundaries

Healthy couples respect each other’s boundaries and know when to back off when necessary.

24. Give Each Other Space

Loving couples understand that it is healthy to have some time apart and give each other space when necessary.

25. Keep the Romance Alive

Romance is an essential part of any loving relationship. Healthy couples make an effort to keep the romance alive by doing things like writing love letters, planning special dates, and taking romantic getaways.

In conclusion, although there is a void of successful role models for couples due to rising divorce rates, healthy couples and unhealthy couples engage in similar patterns and behaviors that either contribute to happiness or unhappiness together. These twenty-five things that successful, loving couples do can be used as guidelines for other couples struggling in their relationships. By implementing these behaviors and patterns, couples can create a happy and loving marriage that will stand the test of time.