Growing Up with Nervous Parents: A Unique Set of Skills

As a child, we may not realize how much our parents’ anxiety affects us. However, as we grow older, we begin to recognize the unique set of skills that being raised by nervous parents has equipped us with. From always being aware of potential danger to having excellent diplomacy skills, growing up with nervous parents has shaped us in ways that are both challenging and beneficial.

1. The Value of Affection

One thing that we learn early on is the importance of showing our love through physical affection and verbal communication. We appreciate the healing power of a good hug and are not shy to say “I love, you”. However, at times, the nervousness of our parents may make displaying affection awkward or uncertain. For instance, while we may be hugging our mother or father, they may slide a shifty glance at the other parent and whisper: “Who knows if this will be our last special moment?”

2. Avoiding Conflict at All Costs

We make sure that we never go to bed angry with someone. It is almost like a compulsion as we cannot take the risk of distancing ourselves from those we care for. However, this may also result in us suppressing our feelings or not addressing issues that should be tackled head-on.

3. Fear of the Kitchen

Growing up with nervous parents meant that the kitchen was often a no-go zone. The sight of us with a kitchen knife, boiling water, or even an oven would send them into hysterics. Consequently, we never learned how to cook, and may even have a phobia of some kitchen tools.

4. Survival Strategies

Although we did not learn how to cook, we do know how to survive off an emergency survival bag of canned beans, just in case. A nervous parent always wants to be prepared, so we know how to pack for emergencies and have a backup plan in place.

5. The Margin for Error

Our parents’ nervous tendencies have caused us to add an extra five minutes to any schedule. It is because they need to check and re-check that the house, car or even Oreos have been locked up, adding an extra layer of precaution.

6. Ignorance is Bliss

Our least favorite phrase is “Did you know that…”. This sentence never ends well, and most of the time, the information we receive is unsettling. After all, who wants to know about the ten possible diseases you could catch by accidentally touching the escalator hand rest?

7. Double Checking

Our next least favorite phrase is “Are you sure…”. It usually means that we need to grab our scarf, parka, or ski jacket for a summer outing, even though it is ridiculously hot outside.

8. The Big Trip Packer

As a child, we may have been the only kid in school with two full-sized luggage bags for a weekend camping trip in the school gym. We still find it hard to pack light, and envy those who can do carry-on only.

9. No Pets Allowed

Growing up, we were not allowed to have pets. The reasons behind this may be endless, but we just had to accept it.

10. The Fear of Being Stolen

Our parents always reinforced the need to lock the door as soon as we hopped into the car because, as our dad told us, “Somebody might steal you, possum.” Although we are now adults, this fear may still cling to us, making us take extra precautions when we go out.

11. Preparing for the Worst

We are aware of the stop-drop-and-roll strategy and know where the fire exit is at all times. We also know how to perform CPR and have a working first aid kit on our keychain just in case.

12. Constant Checking In

We have become accustomed to our parents calling us (or even our school/friends/colleagues/partner) at all times to “check in.” It may have been an hour since they last spoke with us, but anything could have happened.

13. The Kid with the Overprotective Parents

We were always liked by parents (other people’s parents, that is). Perhaps this was because watching us send out smoke signals every hour made them feel pretty darn good about their own parenting style.

14. The Diplomat

Once we grow older, we may realize that we could be hired as diplomats instantly. We have developed fantastic calming skills and reaching mutually beneficial agreements. For example, we could negotiate a visit to our GP in exchange for a weekend with our friends.

15. The Multilingual

Our parents did not let us choose the languages we learned, but we were fluent in Mandarin, Spanish, and Hindi.

16. Expecting the Worst

We have to force ourselves to keep quiet when someone says, “What’s the worst that could happen?” The reason is that we can already think of 21 possible ways the current situation could lead to destruction, chaos, and the loss of a body part.

17. The Tracker

We never had a curfew, but our nervous parents just stalked or followed us around (while being sure to stay a few cars/people away).

18. A Good Night’s Sleep

We may be excellent sleepers due to the nervous attempts of our parents, who may have woken us up in the middle of the night to check if we were breathing.

19. The Future

We are aware that our future is uncertain but tend to fall on either side of the spectrum; we either become the most relaxed people ever or have our books organized by genre, last name, relevance, and first letter of the last paragraph on page 15.

In conclusion, growing up with anxious parents may have had its challenges, but it has equipped us with unique skills that we can use in our daily lives. While we may not have gotten the chance to choose our own adventure, we may have learned how to tackle any obstacle head-on with the knowledge we have gained as a result of our upbringing.