If You Can’t Get Over a Lost Love, Here are 12 Harsh Truths to Consider

Love is a beautiful thing, but it can also be painful. We’ve all been there: the sleepless nights, the loss of appetite, and the incessant need to interject your ex’s name into every conversation. Unfortunately, these symptoms are not limited to the beginning stages of a romantic relationship. They can also be present after a breakup, making it difficult to move on. If you’re struggling to let go of a lost love, consider the following harsh truths that may be holding you back.

1. Maybe it’s you.

It’s human nature to blame external factors when things don’t go according to plan. We’ve all heard phrases like “He was afraid of commitment” or “She was too controlling.” While blaming your ex may give you a boost of confidence, it will not help you move on. Instead, try owning your actions and expectations that may have contributed to the breakup. It’s not an easy exercise, but it’s the first step to taking control of the situation.

2. You didn’t fulfill their needs.

According to Human Needs Psychology, we all have six human needs: certainty, variety, significance, love/connection, growth, and contribution. However, we rank them differently and seek to have them fulfilled in different ways. In the beginning of a relationship, we usually do a good job of fulfilling our partner’s needs. However, unless we continue to meet their needs in the way they want, they may start to lose interest. The harsh truth is that you didn’t meet their needs in the way they needed them to be met.

3. A better match exists for you.

There are over 7.2 billion people in the world, and if you’re in the United States, there are 96 million singles over the age of 18. It may be hard to believe that there are other options, but there are. You just broke up with one person, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find a better match in the future.

4. You saw signs and ignored them.

Hindsight is 20/20. It’s easy to look back and see all the signs that you missed in the relationship. However, don’t ignore signs that are present in current relationships. Address them before it’s too late.

5. You believed you would end up with your first love.

Most of us are introduced to the fantasy of love before we even experience it ourselves. When we finally find that special person, it can be an overwhelming experience. However, when that first love ends, it can feel like your world is ending too. The harsh truth is that your first love may not be your last love. You will find love again.

6. You looked for validation from them.

It’s not easy when you invest so much time and energy into a relationship only for it to end. However, the harsh truth is that you are enough. You don’t need someone else’s validation to prove your worth. If you believe this, you can become irresistible.

7. They’re just not that into you (and that’s okay).

We all have our preferences, and just because you’re not one person’s preference doesn’t mean anything about you. You have plenty of fans; you just have to find them.

8. You’ve romanticized the relationship.

It’s easy to remember only the good times when a relationship ends, but there were probably plenty of things that weren’t ideal. Don’t forget the challenges or complaints you had while you were together.

9. You want what you can’t have.

If the person is not available, the more you focus on it, the more miserable you’ll be. Shift your attention to something you can have. Treat yourself, and enjoy your own company.

10. You took them for granted.

If you think you let go of someone you cared about but took for granted, you may feel regret. However, we all make mistakes. It’s important to view them as learning experiences and make sure you do things differently in the future.

11. Your beliefs are not necessarily the truth.

If you believe that you and your lost love were meant to be together and it’s causing you pain, recognize that you can choose to have a different belief. What if this relationship was the perfect set-up for the ultimate relationship on its way to you?

12. You’re holding yourself back from happiness.

You deserve happiness, and if you’re hurting badly, it’s a sign that something is wrong. Recall a time when you were extremely happy, and focus on those things again. What activities were you involved in? What contribution were you making to the world? These are the things you should focus on to get your groove back.

In conclusion, letting go of a lost love is not easy, but it’s necessary for your well-being. These harsh truths may be holding you back, but it’s up to you to take control and move on. It won’t be easy, but with time and effort, you will find happiness again.