The Importance of Not Seeking Approval: 10 Reasons to Let Go of This Habit

We are born into a society that teaches us that seeking approval from others is necessary for our well-being. We are told that how we behave, how we look, what we say, and the choices we make can draw the approval or disapproval of others. While certain types of behavior are needed to show respect and consideration for others, constantly seeking approval can become problematic.

According to research reported in Time magazine, seeking approval activates the reward center of the brain, making us feel better temporarily. However, some people have learned to let go of this habit and have found that doing so brings its own rewards.

Here are 10 reasons why it’s important to let go of seeking approval:

1. It’s not someone else’s responsibility to make you happy.

By constantly seeking approval from others, you are effectively giving them the responsibility for controlling your happiness. It’s not their job. Take back control of your own happiness.

2. The freedom from worrying about approval is liberating.

Letting go of the need for approval is very freeing. You’ll no longer feel trapped by imaginary boundaries dictating how you should live your life.

3. Seeking approval from others takes a lot of time and energy.

Thinking about what everyone else thinks of you, and figuring out how to receive favorable responses from them, is draining. Consider how much more time and energy you would have if you only worried about pleasing yourself.

4. Stop setting yourself up for disappointment.

Aiming to get approval from others takes guesswork. You can’t know for sure what others will think of you — you can only speculate. This means you can often get it wrong and end up disappointed by their reaction.

5. Everyone views things differently.

When we talk about others, we’re casting a wide net over people with differing likes, dislikes, and opinions. It’s impossible to please them all.

6. Everyone is too busy seeking their own approval to notice or care.

Seeking approval from others is so prevalent, that while you’re worrying about how you’ll be judged, those very people are busy worrying about how they’ll be judged. They may not even notice your efforts.

7. You deserve to focus on your own needs.

Who are these other people that think they know how you should run your life better than you do? They don’t exist. Only you know what you really want and need. You deserve to receive your focus and attention in meeting your own needs.

8. Anxiety decreases.

According to the Social Anxiety Institute, around 7% of the US population suffers from social anxiety at any one time. One of the key aspects of this is a fear of being judged negatively. If you find your anxiety about what others think of you feels out of control, there’s a chance you could be suffering from social anxiety and might need to seek help. However, even those of us without the condition can experience symptoms of anxiety if we’re continually worrying about how to gain the approval of others.

9. Confidence grows.

A big part of confidence is being comfortable with yourself. It’s pretty hard to feel comfortable with yourself if you let the opinions of others define you.

10. The less you seek approval, the more likely you are to receive it.

It’s quite ironic, but when you stop seeking approval, you are more likely to receive it. Being confident and comfortable with yourself is an attractive quality. By becoming self-assured, rather than self-obsessed, you will gain the approval that you no longer crave.

In conclusion, it’s important to let go of seeking approval in order to take control of your own happiness, liberate yourself from the imaginary boundaries that dictate how you should live your life, and focus on your own needs. Doing so can decrease anxiety, grow confidence, and ironically, make you more likely to receive the approval you once craved.