Dealing with Difficult People: 9 Proven Tips to Manage Them

It’s inevitable that in life we will encounter people who bother us. The reality is that we can’t control how others act or what they say, but we can control our reactions to them. Learning how to deal with difficult people might take some time, but it is an essential skill that can make life more manageable. So, here are nine proven tips that’ll help you manage those people who bother you.

1. Be assertive
The first step in dealing with difficult people is to be assertive. When we’re assertive, we stand up for our rights calmly and confidently. We communicate our needs and boundaries in a clear and respectful manner, ultimately helping us take control of the situation. Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive: it means acknowledging our feelings, expressing them firmly, and listening attentively to the other person’s perspective.

2. Choose your battles
Sometimes, it’s best to let small things go. Not every issue or negative comment warrants a response. You have to choose your battles carefully, and if something isn’t worth your time, let it go. By picking your fights, you’ll avoid unnecessary conflict and conserve your energy for the issues that matter most.

3. Set realistic expectations
When dealing with difficult people, it’s important to set realistic expectations. You can’t change someone overnight or expect them to behave perfectly. Instead, focus on small and measurable improvements that will ultimately lead to better relationships. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment by expecting too much too soon.

4. Use positive language
Your language matters when dealing with difficult people. Using positive words and phrases can help to defuse tense situations and encourage them to cooperate. Avoid using harsh language, and instead, use phrases like “let’s try to work this out” or “I understand how you feel.”

5. Don’t take it personally
Difficult people are often difficult because of something going on in their lives, rather than something you’ve done. Don’t take their negative behavior personally. Instead, try to identify the root cause of their behavior and respond accordingly. Remember, their behavior is their problem, not yours.

6. Don’t react emotionally
Reacting emotionally can escalate a situation quickly. It’s best to keep your emotions in check when dealing with difficult people. Instead of getting upset, take a deep breath and respond calmly. This will demonstrate your professionalism while also helping to diffuse the tension in the room.

7. Practice active listening
Active listening is a technique used to improve communication and understanding between people. When dealing with difficult people, it’s essential to show that you’re listening to them. Active listening involves giving the other person your full attention, asking clarifying questions, and repeating back what they’ve said. This technique will help you to better understand their perspective and encourage them to reciprocate the same by truly listening to what you’re saying.

8. Find common ground
When we look for common ground, we open up possibilities for cooperation, consensus, and compromise. Even with difficult people, we can usually find some area of shared agreement. It can be as simple as finding a topic that interests both parties or focusing on a shared goal. By finding common ground, we can set a foundation for working together effectively.

9. Set boundaries
Finally, sometimes you have to set boundaries with difficult people. Boundaries are limits we set for ourselves in terms of what we will and won’t accept. By setting boundaries, we can protect ourselves from the negative impact of toxic people, preserve our self-respect, and maintain our professional integrity. Essentially, setting boundaries sends a clear message about what we are willing to tolerate and what we are not.

In conclusion, dealing with difficult people is never easy, but it’s also not impossible. By practicing these nine proven tips regularly, you can improve your relationships with difficult people, which will ultimately make your life much more comfortable. Remember, take things one step at a time, and don’t forget to give yourself credit for the progress you make – no matter how small.