The Power of Asking Questions: How to Improve Your Communication Skills

As the philosopher Voltaire said, “Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” Asking the right questions is a key skill in all areas of life. Whether you’re seeking feedback at work, trying to improve your relationships, or simply looking for more information, asking the right questions can help you get to the heart of the matter.

However, not all questions are created equal. If you’re not getting the answers you need, it could be because you’re not asking the right questions. In this article, we’ll explore some tips and techniques for asking better questions and improving your communication skills.

What Do You Want?

Before you start asking questions, it’s important to know what you want for an answer. Are you looking for facts, opinions, or judgments? Do you want a simple yes or no answer, or a more detailed response?

Knowing what you want for an answer will help you frame your question in the right context. For example, if you’re asking for directions, you’ll want to be clear about where you’re starting from and where you’re trying to go. If you’re seeking feedback on a project, you’ll want to be clear about what you’re looking for and who you’re asking.

How to Be Amazingly Good at Asking Questions

Once you know what kind of information you need and who to ask, you need to ask your questions in a way that gets the best possible information in response. Here are some tips and techniques for asking better questions:

1. Don’t Ask Yes or No Questions

When you ask a yes or no question, you’ll most often get incomplete information. Instead, ask an open-ended question that requires a more detailed response. Use words like “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,” “how,” or “why” to encourage the person you’re asking to give some thought to their answer.

2. Dig Deeper

Always consider using follow-up questions to get more information. Unless you’re looking strictly for facts, there is likely some sort of assumption or opinion in the answer the person gives you. Asking follow-up questions like “What makes you say that?” or “Why do you think that?” can help you get to the heart of the matter and uncover new insights.

3. Use the Power of Silence

Many times, the person you’re questioning has more information but may not offer it unless you wait for it. Get comfortable with asking a question, waiting for a response, listening to the response, and then waiting some more. People feel a need to fill the holes in the conversation and often will bring out the critical bit of information you’re seeking.

4. Don’t Interrupt

Interrupting the person you’re talking to can be counterproductive. It tells the person you don’t value what they’re saying and can interrupt their train of thought. Let the person answer your question in full, even if you think you’re not getting the answer you want. Listen carefully to what they are saying and use that to direct them back to the topic in the next question when there is a natural pause. If you do need to interrupt, be as polite as possible and bring the person back on point to the matter at hand.

Conclusion

Asking great questions takes practice. You won’t get it perfect every time, but the more you ask, the better you’ll become. Remember to know what you want for an answer, ask open-ended questions, use follow-up questions to dig deeper, be comfortable with silence, and avoid interrupting the person you’re talking to. By improving your communication skills and asking better questions, you can get the answers you need to succeed in your career, relationships, and life.