Your Life is a Direct Reflection of the Standards You Hold

Your life is a direct reflection of the standards you hold—for yourself and for others. This is a truth that applies to every aspect of your life—your profession, appearance, relationships, and finances are all governed by the standards you set for them. Often, these standards are set unconsciously, adapted from the environment or indoctrinated by your family. Unfortunately, your standards are usually set far lower than what you are truly capable of achieving. As Tony Robbins said, “If you don’t set baseline standards for what you’ll accept in your life, you’ll find it easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes and a quality of life that’s far below what you deserve.”

It is clear that this is the norm for many people, but the question becomes, will you choose to stay in the norm or will you decide to hold your life to higher standards and become an exception?

To identify your standards, take the time to observe different areas of your life. Let’s start with personal appearance. However you look at this moment is a reflection of your current standards for your appearance. There is no judgment involved here, just simple observation. A sumo wrestler, for example, has strict standards for their appearance. They need to be a certain size, and anything under that size is unacceptable. On the other hand, a rock climber expects themselves to weigh beneath a certain number so they can climb with ease. Lighter is better, but there’s a baseline they won’t deviate from.

Finances are another aspect of life that can reflect your standards. How often are you late paying your bills? Is it okay to miss a payment here or there? Look at this objectively, without judgment, to gather data about your income, spending habits, and financial responsibility.

Your relationships also reflect your standards. Consider how much time you spend with loved ones, how others treat you, and how you treat others. Is there a trend that makes you feel uneasy, defensive, or the need to justify and explain?

Chances are, you’ve identified one or two standards that are abysmal at best. You may look at your finances and think, “I should really save more,” but you never do because you see yourself as a person who has never been able to save. However, if you made the decision with complete conviction that you are an excellent saver, you would achieve your savings goal and raise your standards. By identifying yourself as an awesome saving machine, you would take action to stay true to that identity and find a substantial amount of money in your bank account.

Changing your standards is not a quick or easy process—it requires an internal shift that cannot be faked. You may try to fake it for a while, but it won’t create lasting change. Instead, you must change your perception of your identity. Let’s use the savings example again: first, identify the limiting belief about your identity that is preventing you from achieving your savings goals. Rewrite it to reflect what you want it to be. For example, change “I’m not the kind of person that can save” to “I’m a money-saving machine.”

Next, find examples that support this new belief. You have $5 in savings—see that as proof that you are a money-saving machine. You skipped a Starbucks purchase and put that money in savings—congratulate yourself for being a money-saving machine. Talk to a friend who has saved $20,000 and feels liberated—that’s a feeling you desire, and that’s why you became a money-saving machine. Imagine the interest you can earn with more money in savings—that’s another reason why you are the most awesome money-saving machine ever.

Then, make the consequences of not changing your belief as visceral as possible. Visualize yourself ending up in a nursing home alone, not being able to take care of your children in an emergency, or losing your house.

Finally, begin to act like a money-saving machine in every way. Talk to an advisor or do research to create a plan tailored to your needs. Stick to the plan without hesitation. When someone asks if you save, confidently answer that you do and that you’re an expert at it. Change your mindset from thinking that you ‘should’ save money to knowing that you ‘must’ and ‘do’ save money. Imagine you already have $20,000 in the bank and think about all the things you will do with that saved money. Hang a modified bank statement in visible places as a reminder of your commitment.

Soon, you will begin to feel like a money-saving machine, and soon after that, you will truly become one. This process requires a deep internal conviction and a strong emotional desire to raise your standards. When you experience this internal shift, you will not be able to go back without losing a part of yourself.