It Warms My Heart When I See a Couple in Their 70’s Walking Hand-In-Hand
As we grow older, we often hear stories about couples who have spent a lifetime together, and it’s easy to wonder what their secret is. How have they managed to withstand the test of time when so many others fall victim to breakups and divorces? What is their formula for a lasting love?
After conducting research and speaking with couples who have been together for decades, it turns out that the happy couples share similar reasons as to why their love has lasted for so long. And, these reasons are often ones that many of us may have forgotten or pushed aside.
Here are some of the top reasons that happy couples have cited as to why their love has stood the test of time:
1. They Continuously Share Common Interests and Find New Ones to Enjoy Together
Common interests initially brought happy couples together, and it is something that keeps them together for the long haul. When couples continue to share common interests and explore new ones, they create cherished moments that they enjoy together.
Having common interests doesn’t have to be elaborate. It can be as simple as enjoying cuddle time under a blanket while watching a movie. However, too many couples forget what common interests attracted them to one another in the first place and are too busy to recognize new ones.
Continuing through a relationship as individuals with different interests instead of sharing at least some common ground can prove detrimental to the relationship in the long run.
2. They Move Towards the Bedroom Together Each Night
Many happy couples suggest that moving to the bedroom at the same time is crucial in maintaining a loving bond. Author Melissa Orlov recommends that couples create a “sacred time” around bedtime. This is a time during which partners can share a meaningful and intimate connection.
Orlov suggests that it’s okay if a partner needs to get back up to finish something. The important thing is to create a pattern of sharing a special time at the end of each day. Many couples today live their lives on different schedules and have forgotten the importance of the intimate time needed before sleep. Instead of staying in the living room to watch television while the other partner goes to bed, why not join them to watch that show together while cuddling under the blanket?
3. They Never Go to Sleep Angry
The happiest of couples say that this is their cardinal rule.
Interviews with couples married 50 to 60 years suggest that the moral of this advice goes deeper than just a cliche. Going to bed angry can lead to unresolved issues and feelings of resentment that go beyond one evening of disagreement. Before drifting off to sleep, recognize that this battle does not define your relationship and reassure your partner that you love them.
Today, too many couples ignore this cardinal rule and drift off to sleep angry. If this becomes a pattern, it can do irreparable harm to their relationship.
4. They Hug and Kiss to Start the Day and Hug and Kiss to End It
Happy couples say they start and end every day with a hug and kiss. Psychologists suggest that hugs create feelings of positivity and better health. Author Andrea F. Polard, Psy.D suggests hugs release the hormone oxytocin, which elevates feelings of attachment, connection, trust, and intimacy.
Too often today, couples forget to touch their partners, and some go through days without a single warm embrace. This lack of intimacy can eventually take a toll on a relationship.
5. They Trust Their Partner
Couples that trust each other take a significant element of conflict from their relationship. Trust is the bedrock for building a strong relationship, according to Catherine Morris, MFT. By placing your confidence and faith in your partner, happy couples can believe and rely on their partner when things get tough.
Today it seems that many couples incorporate distrust as part of their relationship. In the end, this creates a situation of excess worry and a relationship that never realizes its full potential.
6. They Say Thank You Instead of I’m Sorry
Happy couples focus on the positive aspects of their relationship instead of dwelling on the negative. By turning the focus to something positive and thanking a partner for putting up with something instead of apologizing for something, they eliminate the acknowledgment of a negative behavior.
Today, too many couples point out each other’s flaws and forget that they have flaws of their own. Both people in a relationship must love each other in spite of the other’s shortcomings. Focusing on your partner’s acceptance instead of apologizing for shortcomings can strengthen relationships.
7. They Celebrate Each Other’s Accomplishments
Happy couples remain proud of their partners and celebrate all of their accomplishments, no matter how small. If it is important to their partner, it is important to them.
Happy couples encourage their partners along their journey of personal goals. They ask them about their progress and encourage them to keep moving forward.
Today, too many couples tend to forget that to be a happy couple in a relationship, you have to be a team. There is no “I” in team. Never be too busy to recognize, encourage, and celebrate with your partner.
8. They Continuously Do Small Things for Each Other
Small actions equal big rewards in a successful relationship. Happy couples continuously do small things for their partners. It could be something as simple as slipping a note into a lunch that says “I love you,” or taking the dogs for a walk when your partner is too tired to do it.
Today, couples forget that giving is not dependent on receiving. If you continue to do nice things for your partner, they may eventually do nice things in return; but even if they don’t, you will feel good about your efforts.
9. They Acknowledge Each Other’s Feelings
Happy couples don’t have to agree on everything, but they do say that at least acknowledging the other person’s feelings is important in a successful relationship. Just saying “I understand how you feel” can make a huge difference in keeping the roots of problems on the surface and manageable.
Today, couples tend to tell their partner how they are crazy for feeling a certain way. By not validating a partner’s feelings, hurt feelings can run deep. Instead of building a partner up, this breaks them down, eventually damaging a relationship.
10. They Keep a Sense of Humor
You never know what life will throw your way. Happy couples have learned to use their sense of humor to diffuse uncomfortable situations and keep a lighthearted outlook on life. There are even annual conferences that teach how to use humor in a relationship.
Cultivating a humorous outlook requires respect. Today, some couples confuse extreme sarcasm and humor. Extreme sarcasm can be hurtful if it hits too close to a partner’s insecurity. Set some ground rules, and respect each other’s boundaries when it comes to humor.
In conclusion, happy couples attribute their lasting love to a few simple factors. By continuously sharing common interests, honoring intimate time, resolving conflicts, and keeping things positive with humor, trust, and acknowledgment of achievements and feelings, couples can set themselves up for a long-lasting and meaningful relationship.