If you want to learn how to attract women, it’s time to let go of the outdated advice of “grow a five o’clock shadow” or “work out.” The real problem isn’t your physical appearance, it’s your mental and behavioral habits. As someone who has gone through a transformation and can now have spontaneous positive interactions with women, I can tell you that mental and behavioral habits are key in attracting women. Here are four habits to adopt.

1. Ask empowering questions

It’s common to feel anxious when approaching a woman, but instead of putting yourself in a negative mindset by asking yourself “what if she doesn’t like me?” or “what if I get embarrassed?” ask yourself empowering questions that guide your mind to focus on the desired outcome. For example, “what if she’s my next girlfriend?” or “what can I learn from this regardless of the outcome?” You’ll feel excited and empowered, rather than nervous and uncertain.

2. Meditate

Meditation can help regulate stress and anxiety, so before going out on a date or to a bar, meditate. It will enable you to be calm and relaxed in the presence of a woman, allowing you to be yourself. Studies also show that men who meditate are perceived as more attractive to women compared to men who don’t meditate.

3. Be congruent

Being congruent means aligning your thoughts, words, and actions. If you want to kiss her, go for it. Don’t wait for the right moment, just do it. If you feel nervous about approaching a girl, don’t try to hide it by acting confident. Embrace and accept that you feel nervous. The willingness to show weakness is a sign of a confident and naturally attractive man. The more you try to hide, the less confident you are. Be genuine and charming, and the girl will want to listen to you.

4. Be self-amused

Focus on amusing yourself, rather than trying to make the girl react. If you say a joke, say it because it’s funny to you, not because you want to get a reaction out of her. You won’t be peeking out of one eye to see if she’s laughing because you said the joke because it was funny to you. When you begin to get in the habit of amusing yourself, you become a fun person to be with, and that attracts people to you.

In conclusion, attracting women doesn’t have to be a daunting task. By adopting mental and behavioral habits like asking empowering questions, meditating, being congruent, and being self-amused, you can increase your confidence and become the guy that women want to talk with, spend time with, and date. So let go of the outdated advice, and start focusing on yourself and your mindset. You’ll be surprised at the difference it can make.