Every family encounters a situation where the actions or inaction of a particular family member has a negative effect on the rest of the group. These issues are difficult to resolve because families are a fragile and complex unit. Nevertheless, it is important to address them in a way that is sensitive and compassionate. In this article, we will discuss the five stages of dealing with family issues and coming up with a solution that takes into account the needs of the family member at the center of the issue and the needs of the rest of the family.

Stage 1: Group

Creating a group is the first step in resolving family issues. It is important to involve everyone who is suitable and capable of offering help. This will ensure that the group can access all available resources and provide support to everyone who needs it. However, it is important to avoid certain types of people when forming a group. This includes ex-spouses, estranged relatives, people who are immersed in family politics, aggressive personality types, and people with personal agendas. Making certain commitments during the planning process is also important. This includes avoiding passing judgment on the person in question, being compassionate during every step of the process, and avoiding personal agendas.

Stage 2: Questions

The group has to answer some key questions before any planning can take place. It is important to have everyone enter the process with the same objectives. This includes asking questions such as why have we gathered, how is this issue affecting the group, how has this issue manifested itself, why do people want to see this issue confronted and resolved, what are people’s intentions, and what do you consider a successful outcome.

Stage 3: The Planning Sessions

The planning sessions are an important part of resolving family issues. Three factors decide when and if a plan will be implemented, including a timeline, milestones to measure progress, and a regular inventory of resources. Having a person agree to the solution and then not being able to deliver on the promises of support and resources will result in a loss of trust and a fracturing of family unity. Other issues to consider when developing a plan include choosing a location for meeting with the family member, individual commitments, communication between group members, and available resources.

Stage 4: The Agenda

The agenda will guide the group during their meeting with the relative. It includes a statement of love and support, the intention of the meeting, solutions, plan of action, the possibility of failure, and agreement. It is a systematic rundown of everything that the group has discussed and agreed upon. Also, leave enough room on the agenda to make notes and make changes to agenda items during the confrontation.

Stage 5: The Meeting

The meeting is where all the planning comes together. The group should begin the conversation with a statement that demonstrates the group’s commitment to helping the person in question. They should also ask for everyone’s cooperation and make it clear that everyone has a right to be heard without interruption. Reviewing the agenda at the start of the meeting and summarizing the process, debate, and hard work that led everyone to this meeting is also important. Listing solutions and reviewing the proposed timelines for these solutions is vital. Permit extended pauses between points to allow for positive and negative feedback and commit to addressing them during the meeting. Discussion and debate will reveal new information, and the group has to adapt to any drastic revelations. Nevertheless, the process from beginning to end has to be democratic, so that everyone adheres to the decisions made by the group.

It is important to be supportive without surrendering. Be attentive to any aggression or negativity on either side and do not let the group splinter. A loss of unity will allow the relative to question the groups commitment and the validly of their concerns. In periods of heightened tension, the more self-aware, mindful, and respected people in the group have to step forward to manage the situation. Taking breaks and regrouping is also important. Every family and situation is unique, so even the best intentions and hard work might end in failure. In extreme cases, the group might decide to ostracize the individual, use medical intervention or take legal action. Once the group has reached a consensus, an amended master agenda will act as a contract between everyone involved.

Conclusion

Taking on family issues is no different from any other complex problem a community might face. The group must find a common ground and draw on each other’s strength to find solutions. Ultimately, committing himself or herself to a common purpose will be vital. Dealing with family issues is not an easy task, but with sensitivity, compassion, and a clear plan, it is possible to resolve issues in a way that benefits everyone involved.