As society’s expectations of perfection continue to rise, self-validation has become a hot topic. The concept of self-love and being your own biggest fan is not an overnight solution, and it requires mindful practice to truly love yourself. This article examines three ways to validate and love yourself, starting with the most crucial necessity of all: stop comparing yourself to others.

Comparing Yourself to Others

Comparing ourselves to others is the most important, but also the most challenging aspect of self-validation. We learn how to fit in with society’s norms from a young age, and this can extend to feeling as though our actions, both big and small, are constantly being judged. Over time, this consistent judgment can take a toll on our self-worth and result in us feeling like failures, even when we are working to better ourselves.

To achieve self-validation, it is necessary to stop comparing yourself to others, to consciously focus on what makes you happy and to celebrate your path in life. It will help you overcome the need to view your life as a competition, from which you are constantly exposed to criticism.

Don’t Look Outside for Validation

When we deface our happiness to an uncertain point in time and pin our happiness to externally-bound goals, we inevitably lead ourselves down a path that may leave us unfulfilled. True happiness is a mindset that you must cultivate from within.

It would help to ask yourself:

Do I focus more on what I have or what I don’t have?
Do I focus more on what I have or what someone else has?

Negative Self-Talk

We are all our own worst critics, and it’s safe to say that we are tougher on ourselves than we would ever be on our loved ones. One of the ways to truly validate yourself is to treat yourself as you would treat a dear friend. Instead of being self-critical, think of how you might console a best friend who was in a similar situation.

For instance, if you didn’t receive that long-awaited promotion at work, you might talk to yourself about not giving up and how you might be more successful in the next one. Remember, instead of putting yourself down when things don’t go according to plan, be proud of yourself for putting yourself in a position where you put your head on the line in the first place.

Closing Thoughts

Self-validation and self-love have more to do with contentment than achievement, and it comes from shifting your mental mindset rather than changing your external world. Ensuring you are your true self, exhibiting your best potential as opposed to trying to impress everyone, is the first step to achieving self-validation.

Above all, remember that true validation is achieved when we wholeheartedly accept and love ourselves exactly as we are. Acceptance of self is a journey that begins with practice, and the dedication to become our best selves, free from needless pressure, expectations, and judgment.