The Science of Love: Secrets to Making Someone Fall for You
While we are bombarded with advice on how to find, keep, and get love back, the ultimate formula for love is simple. Love is a fundamental human need, and the way it makes us feel is what allows us to thrive. Surprisingly, science has figured out quite a lot about love, from the role of body language to the power of touch. Here are ten secrets of love used by masters of the art of love.
1. Love is Nature’s Trap
According to a study by Psychopharmacology, people become addicted to someone due to the rewards they receive for returned admiration and affection. Your body gives off triggers that instigate the emotion of love, and nature has set up a trap that we can’t fight against. The feeling of love is our fundamental need, and it comes from our origins as it’s supposed to make us want to reproduce.
2. Eye Contact Speaks Volumes
Studies have shown that people in love will naturally maintain consistent eye contact with each other 75% of the time. Psychologist Arthur Aron created the theory behind thirty-six questions, the essential recipe for falling in love. To seal the deal, he suggests staring into someone’s eyes for four minutes. Your eyes may indeed be the windows to your soul.
3. Be a Good Listener
Listening intently to your partner without reacting or making it about you will win their heart. It makes them feel good, and even better if you ask follow-up questions and respond with passion.
4. Validate Your Potential Love
When you validate your partner, you make them feel appreciated and better, and they rely on you. Lack of appreciation has been identified as one of the main reasons for a relationship or marriage failure. Make your partner feel like a winner, and they’ll easily fall in love with you.
5. Smile a Lot
Smiling makes you more attractive and positive. Your partner will see you as someone who is upbeat, and this idea makes it easier for them to fall in love with you.
6. Touch is Powerful
According to a Harvard study, touch can lead to love quickly. It increases intimacy and changes the chemicals in your brain. Kissing techniques can also boost the chemicals within the body.
7. Embrace Your Partner’s Passions
If your partner has a passion, be their cheerleader, and embrace it. This makes them feel that what they care about is important. They will associate the feelings they have about their passion with you because you’re supporting it.
8. Be Aware of the Three Stages of Love
According to studies conducted by Rutgers University, there are three stages of love: lust, attraction, and attachment. Lust is said to be the initial stage of getting involved with love. Attraction is the stage where you feel the love buzz, and your personality changes throughout this process. Attachment takes you to a sustainable path where you can commit to each other, and hormones like oxytocin and vasopressin create the bond.
9. Love is Deeper than Looks
Falling in love is subconscious and chemical, based on the messages that flow to the brain. It’s much deeper than the physical aspects of someone, and sometimes it can happen before you even talk to a person.
10. Use the Thirty-Six Questions
The psychologists who developed the thirty-six questions aimed at figuring out why people fall in love. They came up with three sets of questions that would lead someone to evoke all the feelings of love from someone else. These questions make someone feel relevant, valid, important, and cared about, and force them to open up, a feeling associated with love. Asking these questions allows for vulnerability, making it easier to fall in love. In fact, Mandy Len Catron’s research proved the effectiveness of the thirty-six questions when she fell in love with her friend and is still with him today.
Final Thoughts
Falling in love is beautiful, but it can be intimidating too. Science has paved the way for understanding the complicated chemical processes that occur when you fall in love. If you follow these ten secrets to make someone fall in love with you, you may discover a beautiful lasting love.
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